A Day in Amy's Life - The Perils of Motherhood

Lighten Up, Paula! - a thought of a new blog and a new way of life

2012-01-21T04:14:00.000-08:00

It was not a big shocker to learn this week that Food Network, butter fryer cooker extraordinaire Paula Deen has Type 2 Diabetes. Traditional Southern cooking has something to do with it in my opinion. But what makes it worse is 1) she has known about it for 3 years and still continues her cooking style 2) she is promoting an insulin drug.

Okay. Every doctor, at least to my knowledge whether you live in the South or off in Timbuktu, says that you need to control your sugar levels, first and fore most, with dietary changes. If you still battle with high insulin levels, even when you change your eating habits, you have the last resort of taking insulin shots. Now, I am not battling insulin as a drug. I am sure anyone who has diabetes would tell you that pricking their finger is not top on of their list of favorite things to do on a daily basis. However, using the message of an insulin drug as the "cure" for your cooking is just wrong.

With Southern obesity levels as high as it is, (Mississippi was the fattest state in 2011 and Birmingham, Alabama was the fattest city in 2011) why has Paula not changed her ways in the public life and beat this epidemic? I know Southern cooking is her gimmick, I get that, but why contribute to ill health of others with a knife and fork of frying and butter inducing your meals? Southern cooking is rich with other vegetables, leans meats and wonderful flavors that have lighter options. Brennan's in New Orleans has brought out "Sugar Buster" recipes and promote this life style with a Southern flare. Also, "Cooking Light" magazine based out of Birmingham has been promoting healthy lifestyle for years. So, it is not totally impossible to create lighter versions of Southern favorites.

I have been thinking about this for months, even before her announcement of having diabetes, about starting a blog of creating lighter versions of Paula's recipes. Time and kitchen testing with need to be invested, but I think the world needs it right now because Paula is definitely not doing it. Creating a healthy family is essential and making something healthier for a better quality of life is always a good thing. Hey Y'all, Let's Start Cookin'!

The Post Marathon Blues

2012-01-12T16:01:00.000-08:00

It has been over 2 months since I completed the NYC marathon to celebrate my 40th birthday. There has also been my birthday, Thanksgiving, Anniversary, Christmas and another child's birtday within this span of time, so I have been busy doing lots of things, besides thinking of the possible next step.

So, for my birthday, to keep my running in check so I won't stop running, I had my husband to sign me up for the Rock n Roll Half in DC. Was under the Suntrust Marathon/Half name, but now is an offical Rock n Roll type of run. Filled with bands and spirit of the crowds, it is one I am looking forward to, but nothing can live down the NYC experience. I think I am still "high" from that experience, thinking of all of the 26.2 miles of it, the crowds, the noise, the thrill of actually being in NYC. I don't know how I will relive that experience.

My half marathon training started the day after Christmas, so I have been struggling to get back to routine, though I ran like only 3 times a week post race under 3 miles each time, due to me trying to recoup a pinched nerve in my neck. I am slowly getting back to "longer" miles, into 5 and 6 mile runs. I did a 4 miler a couple of weeks ago, a New Year's Eve run, and my time was not at it's best, but I did it at night.

Trying to get back to any kind of training after enduring a wonderful experience has its small dose of "blues" with it. I know I can't relive the NYC experience, but I can try my best to keep doing what I have been doing. I found this "blues" feeling is common after a marathon. Coach Joe English's blog talks about this and steps to over come it. http://coachjoeenglish.wordpress.com/2007/10/29/training-how-do-i-deal-with-the-post-marathon-blues/

Now that Marathon Baby was born, for the second time, I am ready for another. But like I said from the last time, I don't want another child right away.

Preparing my children for the world of tomorrow, and wondering how many careers they will have in a lifetime

2010-09-03T08:38:00.000-07:00

As I am preparing my oldest for 1st grade and my youngest for preschool, I am embarking on the need to always keep them occupied. Lately, we have been assigning them to do tasks, and sometimes they want to do things on their own (good sign of a future entrepreneur). But, they are also thinking about the money that they can earn in these tasks so they can get the things that they want, like Barbie dolls or Pillow Pets.

While this is their world of worry now, only saving enough money for a toy, I keep wondering what their future has in store. The career choices they have are limitless, and yet their list of "What I want to be when I grow up" is growing too. Unfortunately, we can't cut that list down for them because though my daughter wants to be a vet, a nurse, a massage therapist and an artist when she grows up, she might have to do all of them to earn a living, putting a house over her head.

Long gone are the days when our parents only chose one career and stuck with it for over 50 years. What a blessing if it were true today. Now is the new age of our evolving world where you have to learn more than one career skill in order to make your self marketable and more versatile in today's job market. Career changing is the norm, community colleges are increasing enrollments of non-traditional students (probably why the TV show "Community" is such a big hit) and having one degree with one skill is not enough.

Some sources say it is hard to determine what the average number of careers a person will have in a lifetime, but I can assume that the average is not one. Switching careers is not the same as changing jobs, like a promotion or just moving over from one department of a company to another. This is a totally new concept of actually learning something new in order to do a new job. So with the wide variety of jobs my child wants to do (a vet, a nurse, a massage therapist and an artist) there are different schools that apply to each, and getting one college degree, one certification and one masters may not be enough. I am not looking forward to her education bill in the future, especially if she has to change with the times.

Finally, she can swim!!!

2010-08-10T17:13:00.000-07:00

I took my oldest to her first swim lesson when she was 6 months old. Yes, we started her young, and we did expect some long term results immediately. Maybe I watched too many of those videos where the babies start swimming by the time they are one, and diving into depths of 4 feet, but I was thinking we were doing the right thing. Well the results were long coming. We enrolled her in the toddler swim class the following year and then the preschooler a couple of years after that. She has a strengthened fear of the water, especially in her preschooler class. I remember having to leave one class early because of her screaming.

But finally, 6 years till we first introduced her the waters of a pool, she can finally swim on her own. She took an American Red Cross beginning swim early this past spring. She failed it miserably. However, with my constant awareness of bringing her to a pool and keeping up with her extracurricular swimming, not just the swimming for classes, she began to learn how to tread water on her own. We are so proud. It was a long time coming, but we are proud that she pursued it!

Twiddling the Summer away with Workbooks

2010-07-07T12:49:00.000-07:00

Now that the summer heat is on, and the summer camps have begun, I am always searching for ways to keep my girls occupied. With a graduated kindergartener and an emerging pre-schooler, I am looking for activties to engage the girls and keep them mentally sharp during this summer lag time. One great way I have found has been using workbooks, usally those you find in Barnes and Noble or Borders.

After the girls have had a full day of running around, having screaming matches, catching lightening bugs, and getting ready for bed, we start working on our workbooks. It is a great way to calm them down and be quiet and peaceful - except when we have to share the crayons. I find it satisfying spending this quiet time with them because 1) it is a way to calm them down before bed; 2) it is satisfying for me because they are learning something, and I can be with them in that learning experience. After they are done with a workbook, they get a Certificate of Completion, showing that they made a huge accomplishment of finishing those activities.

I have come across a few workbooks that would be good for any preschooler or emerging 1st grader:

> Big Preschool Workbook by School Zone Publishing Company. This book covers the alphabets and numbers, phonics, colors and shapes and more. The pages are bright and are able to engage my 3 year old. It is thick, with 320 pages. Both the girls are working on it, with my oldest, who is 6, leading my youngest to follow the instructions.

> Picture Learning: Reading, Writing, and Math by Amercian Education Publishing. This is a preschooler book, but I found it to be a little too advanced in the beginning, asking the preschooler to write words like "square" and "red" while saving writing the letters at the end. It is good at picture/word recognition - my 3 year old picked up on it pretty quickly.

> Skill Sharpeners Reading Grade 1 by Evan Moor Educational Publishers. This was the book my soon-to-be 1st grader said "Mommy, I really like this book!" The book is formatted well, with sections in the book surrounding a story and doing activities like matching words and sounds, reading comprehension, and writing. I have found one error in the answer key (does "Donkey" honestly have a "u" sound in it? No, did not think so), with exception of that, I have had no problem with the book.

> Summer Activites for Gifted Student Grade 1. By FlashKids. I chose this book mainly because my daughter was in a gift program at her school, and did not want her to get bored. We have not embarked on the book yet, but it covers all areas like word associations, reading comprehension and math.

I hope this helps anyone interested in these books.

Wednesday's children...

2010-02-03T04:56:00.000-08:00

Mondays child is fair of face,
Tuesdays child is full of grace,
Wednesdays child is full of woe,
Thursdays child has far to go,
Fridays child is loving and giving,
Saturdays child works hard for his living,
And the child that is born on the Sabbath day
Is bonny and blithe, and good and gay.

I am sure everyone has seen a segment on your local TV news channel about "Wednesday Child." I think every broadcasting area carries this segment, identifying children, mostly older children, who are eligible for adoption. In the DC area, there are about a thousand children currently eligible for adoption. That is alot of children who need a "forever family."

My husband and I have always had it in our heart for another child. We love the two biological God gave us, and if we wanted a third, we would adopt the third child. We had not thought about the possibility of putting the adoption idea into action until recently. Ever since the earthquake in Haiti, and seeing the magnitude of the need that Haiti for caring for its children, we have seriously thought about the possibility of adopting a Haitian child. Seeing the children, babies, pulled from the rubble, it breaks our hearts, and we ache to hold those children with our love. Our children are taking notice of the devastation in Haiti. After watching the Hope for Haiti benefit on TV, My 6 year old drew a picture of a Haitian mother and father pulling out a child from the rubble of cement. Her compassionate heart wants to reach out those in Haiti.

Right now, we know is not the time to put in applications to adopt since they are trying to reunite families now. But once we find out which adoption agencies are the best to deal with and legally reputable, and the final costs of the process, we would look into pursuing it. In the mean time, I am starting to put away my 2 year old's out-grown 3T's for possible future use. It may not be for another couple of years till something happens, but we are preparing ourselves, in some small way.

Trying to teach the meaning of Christmas to a 5 year old

2009-12-10T18:47:00.000-08:00

I know that Jesus said that we should come to Him as children, letting down our guard in trusting Him, but sometimes we don't realize how self centered children can be. When I was trying to make plans for a special outing with my 5 year-old to Target so we could shop for her little sister and father. Well, we did not end up going because she insisted that she was entitled to a gift. I was trying to explain to her that Christmas is not about getting things but about giving. Needless to say we never made it to Target because I did not want to encounter a 5 year old fit in the middle of the toy aisle.

How can you teach a 5 year old that being selfish is not the meaning of the season? I want her to see that giving something from you can bring joy to others. I am not talking about toys that she may like, but buying something that other people like. I try to instill this in my child but it is a challenge. I think this year with 10% unemployment and the downturn of the economy, many people are not consuming as much, and relying on hand made gifts, and not things bought entirely in a store. I think the Charlie Brown Christmas is the heart of the issue, "Oh no, my dog has gone commercial" and trying to find the real meaning of Christmas. I don't think my daughter fully understands what is going on the Charlie Brown Christmas, but it resignates more with adults.I hope one day she will understand.

Training for a Marathon equals Child Birth??

2009-09-30T09:52:00.000-07:00

For the past 4 months, I have been indulging my Saturdays with group meetings for long runs with Team in Training. Not just because I want to raise funds for a cause, but because I want to accomplish a feat of completing a marathon. I have 26.2 of road ahead of me, and every little mile of practice (up to 30 miles a week) is part my training. Though the mechanics of running have improved over these past 4 months, I must admit I was not aware of other factors that would have entered in, such as my appetite increasing to the size of a nursing mother.

When I was pregnant with my two daughters, I had thought it was great to eat a little extra because I was "eating for two." Now with marathon training, I was thinking my little extra eating would eventually burn off because of all the miles I was running. Finishing my long miles with bagels, bananas and gatorade is pretty much a staple Then I go for a burger and fries because I felt like I could eat a house. Unfortunately, I have gained about 8 pounds, most of it just recently after my 20 miler. I think about half of that weight is the added water needed for me to survive the marathon. Other half could be the added muscle my body had gained during the training. Though my clothes don't feel tighter, they sure don't feel looser! And I thought training for a marathon would help me lose weight!

I do feel like this training is just like waiting for a child to be born. You prepare as much as you can then race day comes, 4 hours plus of it, then it is over once it has been accomplished. Then your body has to recover then go back to normal. In all honesty, it is one of those things I want to get over!

My fundraising page with Team in Training is like my weekly journal of my training. Please feel free to see it and thinking about making a contribution to this wonderful cause of fighting blood cancers. http://pages.teamintraining.org/nca/corps09/abreemanrh

Healthcare debate and health based charities, who wins?

2009-09-21T12:35:00.000-07:00

Healthcare is such a hot kitchen table issue right now, that people demand changes and action, regardless what side of the political aisle you stand on. Some people want the government to expand the use of Medicare as the only alternate health insurance for people who don't have coverage, and other want the government out of the healthcare business, and only want to reform the way some insurance companies do business, like denying patients coverage for pre-existing conditions. Others, just want out of it all together, no health insurance, then tough cookies and don't want the government to penalize you for not having it. Either way, you look at, it all boils down to the costs of healthcare. It would not be such an issue if the the cost for some of the procedures you get at a hospital from having a child to getting a cyst removed from a breast wouldn't be so much. The stay at a hospital, the medicines, the around the clock care from the nurses and doctors, the electricity to keep the hospital open, the technology needed to detect diseases, all cost money and trickles its way to the bottom line of patients needing the care.

How much does it cost to sustain human life? According to Time Magazine, it is $129,000/year. This study was based out of Stanford's School of Business, using patients of dialysis. Costs like "quality of life" and the amount of time for treatment, value of organs, etc. were all taken into account. I don't know if you can put dollars and cents on human life, but at least you get the picture of incomes versus expenses when it comes to healthcare. If a person makes only $50,000/year and has to get dialysis, imagine the time and cost going into it for that individual! That person would be broke for sure!

And where does all of this lost money go? Back to the taxpayers, the companies producing the healthcare products, and to the insurance companies for increased premiums, among a few. Another avenue of where some of these costs would be coming from would be health based charities. Alot of churches have them, community clinics and even pharmacies are starting to help out those in need of a little help with medic care. I am sure in the case of an individual going through dialysis, research for more efficient and effective methods would be covered under the umbrella of National Kidney Foundation. But with the ailing economy, alot of these necessary non-profits are getting the boot from some people as a place to give donations, and don't see the immediate value that such support of health-based charities could do to the economy down the road.

Maybe I am tooting my own horn here because I am working with Team In Training this year to raise funds for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society, and I HAVE to raise money! I think people need to see that donations to an organization means that 1)they have control of where their money is going in supporting a health cause 2) it contributes to the research of that particular organization so the medicine and treatments would be more efficient and effective 3) once the organization is contributing to more efficient and effective ways in finding cures, then it would lower healtcare costs down the road for individuals with that disease, and could mean less of a burden on all people! Makes the healthcare more affordable and available to all with that disease.

I could be too simplistic in my theory of healthcare and health-care charities, but I challenge everyone to give up that 500 calorie daily iced coffee for a week, and give that money to a health cause instead. Better yet, give up on your annual Christmas gift this year and just tell people to donate to your favorite health-based charity instead. Or even participate in a community health walk or 5k run/walk and raise money for a charity that really needs the money. I think it would lower everyone's health costs down the road if we all do it together!

Resting - but I feel so restless!

2009-08-07T03:08:00.000-07:00

Last weekend, in my training for a marathon, I had an injury in my foot due to running on an uneven course. I could not walk without being in pain, and my training took a backseat during this recovery. According to my Team in Training schedule, I was supposed to put in a 50 minute run on Sunday, a 60 minute on Tuesday and another 40 on Thursday. So far, this week, I was able to get in about a 20 minute swim on Sunday and a painful 30 minute run on Wednesday. I feel like I could more. I am conditioned to do other things like bike, but I have been occupying my time doing other things right now. After all, I did have a new Kindergartener start school this week, and adjust the family to a new schdule of events.

Though I am doing the right things in letting this injury heel, I just want things to get back to normal and put in my time like I wished I could this week. I realized, after Wednesday, how much I wanted this, and how much I wanted to continue with my goal in completeing a marathon. I have found myself eating more of the unnecessary things like cookies and sweets during my down time, which not good for anyone, even though I think I am a mighty athlete and can burn it right off (which has not been the case this week).

Anyway, at least I am relaxing a bit and enjoying my Kindergartener grow and my youngest adapt to not having her big sister around. So there could be some benefit to not running around right now.

Amy Breeman-Rhodes Fundraising Page

2009-07-26T19:42:00.001-07:00

Amy Breeman-Rhodes Fundraising Page

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Virtual Assistants - something Moms and Dads can do

2009-07-26T15:56:00.000-07:00

One of the things we all as parents want at the end of the day is more time. Most of us on an average day get up, drive in our cars, go to work our 8 to 5 and drive home, fix dinner get the kids ready for bed, and BAM it is 9 pm! I think if most of us had a choice, we want more flexiblity with our work/personal time. Once such career that can offer that is being a virtual assistant.

A typical work day would be get up in the morning, get your morning coffee, take the kids to school, come back home, drink more coffee, turn your computer, and you are at work. Making phone calls, writing memos, research marketing ideas, web surfing for addresses and phone numbers, do legal research, come up with some spreadsheets, write an article and even write a book. These are just a few things virtual assistants can do, all in their homes.

I am researching on doing this same type of activity on my own. I am scoping out websites like guru.com and elance.com, looking for projects that could be interesting to me. How about working 5 hours a week just doing some web site research for government forms and putting your findings on a spreadsheet? How about writing a blog for someone, or writing an article for a mazagine. And for something more challenging, how about testing products for a cosmetic company. All of these kind of jobs can be found on a virtual basis.

Of course, once you jump into doing project jobs, you first of all, keep up the hours and try to find work week in and week out. After all, you have to still earn money even after one project is over. Second, you are now a sole proprietor and do this work on your own. Being a sole proprietor means paying self-employment tax, keeping financial records like receipts and invoices. Third, you might think about forming a company and operate under that name when dealing with clients. That can be a project in itself in finding out about which business structure is best for you.

So, being flexible with work and personal time is a big motivator for me to look into possible venture. Even if I have a full-time or part-time job, this would be an excellent way to earn some extra money, and possibly fund my children's education. If you happen to have a virtual assistant job, I welcome your experiences working as one, and if there are any pitfalls one needs to be aware.

Stories of Journeys – For Children and Adults

2009-07-14T06:25:00.000-07:00

I had recently just read a delightful little book The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho about a young man’s journey from Andalusia Spain to the Pyramids of Egypt. It was centered on the mission of this young man’s search for his Personal Legend, or his personal accomplishment,

“Everyone, when they are young, knows what their Personal Legend is. At that point in their lives, everything is clear and everything is possible. They are not afraid to dream, and to yearn for everything they would like to see happen to them in their lives. But, as time passes, a mysterious force begins to convince them that it will be impossible for them to realize their Personal Legend.”

How enlightening this can be for us adults, and parents, to see with the eyes of a child. Yet, we reason like a “grown up” when we see our life options as obstacles to our dreams. How many of us have given up on our dreams or accomplishments because of the cards that we are dealt in life. Didn’t finish your degree? Did not take that trip you have always wanted to do? Didn’t make that phone call to that loved one? This is all part of the journey of life, all on the road to accomplishment. Much like the Aesop’s Fable of the fox and grapes, after the effort of trying so hard to obtain those sweet, nurturing grapes, the fox gives up saying that they are sour. But do those dreams go away? We long for those sweet grapes, but because it is so hard to get them, we just give up thinking that they are just a bad idea.

I have read the Wizard of Oz to my daughter (not the red ruby slippers, but the silver shoes). Dorothy had the on-going desire of returning back to Kansas, and along the way made some friends with their own desires, and everyone encounters obstacles along the way, all seeking for the Wizard, who would make their dreams come true. But in the journey itself, they realized, at the end, that they had what they were seeking the whole time. The journey was the confirmation of their desires, and despite the odds and fears, they were able to find out for themselves that anything can be done.

So, we need to think like a child, and take our life’s journey as a child...” "Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them; for to such belongs the kingdom of God. Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.,” As Jesus said in Luke, we need to look to God without our pride, fears and “grown up” reasoning and pursue what is pure and just. We all need to pursue our longings and treasures in life, and seeking, God willing, is all part of our journey.

“Follow the Yellow Brick Road!"

Managing insecurities of our children - that's how they grow

2009-07-05T04:01:00.000-07:00

On this wonderful 4th of July day, our family had the excellent opportunity to go do what families typically do on 4th of July: We had a picnic and saw fireworks. Of course, this was all done with the permission of our children. They were looking forward to all of the events of the day and were excited to have the option to do those thing. Like always, sometimes this does not always go as planned, at least how we, as parents, think it would.

As our family was wrapping up our exursion to the playgroud and park for a lovely shaded picnic, my oldest was running with excitement to our car and fell and skinned her knee. How typical, I think, but my 5 year-old is crying, making it a huge crisis. "B-B-Blood!!" coming from my wanna be doctor. She was crying all the way to the car, wanting to be carried due to the stinging sensation of her knee. Then she goes on to say "My friends will make fun of me!" and later, "None of the boys will marry me!" She was not only crying because of the knee, but worried how a skinned knee would ruin her young reputation. I then showed her my scars from years of falling off bikes and running into things. Somehow it did not convince her that it was all part of being a human being - that we do get scars. When we got home, she got into bed and we all watched a little bit of Toy Story. I think me being with her in those few minutes calmed her down a bit. Maybe next time she gets a skinned knee, she won't cry as much and see that even her friends, especially those boys, gets them.

And, down to the fireworks we go later in the day. My youngest was so enthusiastic to see the fireworks, perhaps the first real display she has seen in her young 2 year old life. We got to the park in Vienna early enough, about an hour, before the display began. Both girls were so excited. The crowds were coming in, and the girls were nestling in with blankets as the evening got cooler. Then at 9:15 the firworks began. My oldest was sitting on her father's lap, saying "Wow," while my youngest was on my lap cluching onto me for dear life. She was not happy about the experience. She covered her eyes, then shuttered at the sound of the pops. She would not let go of me during the 30 minute show. I was trying to comfort her, but I was thinking she would get used to the sounds and see that the crowds were enjoying the views. But all of this did not convince my youngest at all. She clinged to my neck the whole time in fear. I am hoping that next time, when she is 3, that this would not be such a terrifying experience and see that this is just how fireworks sound and look.

We can all hope, as parents, that every experience our child has, good or bad, and make them see that this is what happens in our lives and we will all have to chuck up the experience as a guide to our next dilemma. These experiences will give us more confidence to deal with next issue we face, and then the insecurity would soon diminish. At least, we hope little by little.

Making education more convenient - will it work for you in the real world?

2009-06-28T18:33:00.000-07:00

Last week perhaps was one of the biggest steps made in the land of recognizing online degree graduates as people to be reckoned with in the working world. I happen to request google alerts from "Concord Law School," the "oldest" of the online law schools offered on the net at the young age of 10 years old. As an aside, yes, I am looking at this non-ABA, only California accredited law school as a possibility in the future for me to indulge in a legal education. It's online, and a quarter of the cost of a law school around the DC area, so yeah, I am looking at it. Anyway, the biggest 2 liners of the week for Concord Law School were these headlines: "Online Law School Grad Who Sued to Take Bar Gets His License," and "Concord Law School Team Competes in National Moot Court Finals."

First of the headlines, is a major break through, at least from the stand point that of the people in Massachusetts who could take the bar, it was only for ABA- accredited school graduates. However, Ross Mitchell of Newton, Mass, and graduate of the Los Angeles based Concord Law, had the courage in November of last year to stand in front of the Supreme Judicial Court of Massachusetts pro se and state his case that he should take the Massachusetts Bar, despite that he did not graduate from an ABA-accredited school. He won favor with the court, a 6 to 1 decision, and on June 22 of this year, he was admitted into the Massachusetts Bar. This was so earth shattering, that even the National Law Review picked up the story.

With regards to the second headline, two Concord students made it to the finals in the National Moot Court, which was held in Washington, DC. They beat out other universities, and were face-to-face to Stanford Law students at the American Constitution Society Annual Convention in Washington. 45 schools participated in this event, and to think that Concord was up against one of the toughest-curriculum law schools in the country is quite amazing!

Looking at these accomplishments with Concord students and graduates, is making me take a longer look about going to an online school. In today's world, everyone is so accustomed to the "brick and mortar" education. However, with the abundance of information and education online, it actually makes people rethink their lives and priorities and say "Hey, I can do this!" I know with the development of distance and online education, there is the need for the accreditation measures to make sure that these schools are legitimate and not something that is used as a marketing tool. Having a good education accessible to everyone who can afford it and can "get in" a school will help those who don't have the time, and yes, money, to attend a college of their choice and live on its campus. I mean, I definitely enjoyed my college experience, with the friendships that I developed over the years. I don't want the "brick and mortar" schools to go away. But logging on a computer anywhere in the world at 8:00 at night would be better than trying to get a baby sitter and beat traffic just to get that masters or law degree. Not many employers would think that kind of education is worth while. But it is a degree. However, I believe taking a distance course takes alot of self-discipline and desire to do it. After all, I am taking a paralegal course through distance education means. That is ALOT of self-discipline just to turn in assignments on time while looking for employment and raising my two girls.

I think the reputation of the online education, over time, will get better. As more Phoenix University and Concord Law graduates enter the workforce, more employers are going to have to look at those school names on resumes, and see that while these people were raising families and holding down jobs that they actually took the time to learn something. How convenient can an education be when all that an online graduate wanted to do was to get a better paying job so that his/her child can go to a "brick and mortar" school. That is the American dream, isn't it?

My Fundraising Page

2009-06-19T18:27:00.001-07:00

My Fundraising Page

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A feeling of relief - now that summer is here

2009-06-18T03:52:00.000-07:00

One big sign that summer is here, at least when looking at my children's schedules, is all the year-end programs that parents have to attend to show the work that our children accomplished. A couple of weeks ago, my oldest had her dance recital, under the theme of "Beauty and the Beast." There is nothing cuter than seeing young girls dressed in tutus. The performance, of the recital as a whole, was entertaining since there was various other dramas going on stage, and not just the dancing. One point during one of the routines with another group other than my daughters, had a child pushing and shoving other children. Ironically, it was during a routine called etiqutte and poise. Other than that, my daughter's performance was wonderful! She has such an interest and love for dancing, that we will be continuing it for her in the fall.

Besides all of the recitals, and year-end programs, it is a relief to parents to see it at an end. Even with my own projects, I just finished my final for the Parlegal I course. That is a relief in itself.

But as far as embarking on other things once the Sept-June projects are done, summer has its own set projects. There are the vacations, the swim lessons, soccer lessons and going to the pool more often. Actually, with all of these activities on the schedule (on top of my training for a marathon) these are more relaxing. I know the kids deserved that break from the norm. Once fall comes again, there will be a new exciting feeling, especially with my oldest starting kindergarten! The smell of new books and pencils will spark a new interest in learning. We will have to wait till August for that!

BetterMe Coaching Tool

2009-06-08T17:29:00.001-07:00

How come healthy foods are not more widely available?

2009-06-01T15:46:00.000-07:00

I remember a few years ago that I wrote to Pillsbury and asked why they don't have whole wheat or whole grain varieties of their biscuits, rolls, pizza crust and even cookies. Whole grain is supposed to be the healthy option, right? And would it not be in their best interest of Pillsbury to better the lives of their customers colons by adding the needed fiber in their diets? Of course, who cannot resist those Grand cinnamon rolls or a flaky criossant. But if I want an unbleached version, shouldn't it be widely available?

This was just one of the issues I have with the mass-run companies that don't modify their products for the health of the consumer. McDonald's does not have whole wheat bread, neither does BK. Better yet, they don't even serve sirlon burgers, or fat free mayonaisse or how about those sweet potato BAKED fries! I know grease is what makes these places big on the list of appetizing places to eat, but for the sake of people's health, the baked version of the fries should be the norn, not the deep-calories fat invested ones. And a whole wheat bun should be topping the sirlion Big Mac, not a white-bleached infested bun!

Perhaps if these changes are made, the places would be afraid that they are going to lose customers. Somehow I doubt it because we are a fast-food nation. I view it is proliferating the customer base because it will add years to their lives.

What $10 can buy your child

2009-04-27T09:31:00.000-07:00

T-shirt - $7
Water bottle - $2
Pen - $1
Lots of coupons from local vendors - Over $20 value
An experience that has your child feel like she is on top of the world - priceless.

This past weekend, our family participated at a 5K and a 1-mile fun run that a local high school was sponsoring. The event was a fundraiser for the high school's booster, perhaps some much needed funds for those participating in sports. The 5K was for the adults and kids 10 and up in age, and the fun run was for any age. I signed up for the 5K and signed up my oldest, who is 5, for the fun run.

She was all excited about it. She was telling all of her friends at school about it, and telling me "Mommy, I am going to beat you in a race!" About a week before the race she was saying, "I really need to practice my running!" So, she would run around the backyard, around the neighborhood, any chance she could get. Granted, it never amounted to a mile, but it was an adequate amount of energy she needed to burn.

Then came race day. She was saying as she and I were approaching the starting line of the race. "Mommy, everyone here is going to try their best to win!" I said that everyone was a winner. But she said "I am going to win, Mommy!" The gun was fired at the starting line, and we are all off. The older children, and a couple of parents, were well ahead of my daughter and me. She was coming along a curve in the route and she was saying "Mommy, I am tired. I want to walk." I said that it was okay. We can walk a little bit. As the second to last parent and child were getting out of site, she began to charge ahead. "Mommy, I am going to beat them!" I said that that was not so much important as finishing the race. She slowed down again and said "My side hurts!" I said that it was okay, we could walk.

We were going around the next bend in the route, and we saw everyone running past the half mile mark, and getting further out of sight. She said "Let's run, Mommy" So we ran as far as we could, again, and then we saw Daddy and little sister. My youngest was crying for me, according to my husband the whole time the race started. Then my oldest said with a cry "I want Daddy!" I said that if you go with Daddy then you won't get a ribbon at the end of the race. At this point, it was halfway in the race. she was complaining about every part of her little 5-year-old body. I could sympathize with her, because I remember having those feelings when I started running. But, at the same time, as a parent, I encouraged her to finish the race.

Fortunately, some of the nice high school girls, who were volunteering, began running with us. This gave my daughter a lot of encouragement. She started running again, and she was not complaining. When we approached the last lap on the track, the volunteers dropped off, and it was just my daughter and I. The announcer at the event came out to us as we were coming around the last curve in the course, and asked for my daughter's name. The announcer then called out her name to the crowd and said "Let's give her a big hand!!" My daughter was running the fastest that she could. I was even trying to keep up with her. The crowd was screaming and clapping, which added fuel to my daughter's fire. We crossed the finish line at 16:39. We were the last one's to finish.

Even though we were the last one's to finish the race, I think she learned some valuable lessons. She learned that no matter how hard things get, we need to finish what we started. At the end, there will be applause and the self-satisfaction that it was a job well done. Though we did not finish first, being last is not that bad either. Plus look at all the cool stuff you get when you run this race. A t-shirt, waterbottle, pen, a ribbon, and one of the best experiences you will ever have in your little life.

She later told her daddy, "Daddy! They were cheering for me!" Wow, what you can buy your child with $10 these days.

Looking forward on this dreary day.

2009-04-20T18:02:00.000-07:00

Today was a big day, at least for my daughter. We went to an orientation at what will be her Kindergarten. Her father and I were not really sure of what to expect at the school, considering that we live in a highly diverse area of town. After meeting the principal and some of the Kindergarten teachers, we were very impressed with the school, and its up and coming reputation in Fairfax County. It was rated a Blue Ribbon School in Virginia last year, which eased our thoughts on the level of education she was going to receive. During our time talking with the principal and teachers, both of our daughters took advantage of the care that was provided. MB went into an actual Kindergarten classroom and E went into a Head Start room. Booth of them really enjoyed their time there, which makes both hubby and I very happy about our decision to stay in the area, at least for now.

Another big item, at least for me today, was that I finally got results from my first test and writing assignment from my distance learning paralegal course. I got a 90 on the writing assignment and an 82 on the test. Not my best, but considering I have not taken an academic class in over 11 years, might be okay. I have a B, which is not terrible. But with this being a distance learning class taking at my leisure makes me feel like I should have done better. If anything, I am more driven to study and get a definitive A on both my next assignment and test.

On top of this paralegal class, I am considering taking another class, but not right now. I am thinking about taking a couple of classes in international trade, both in International Traffic in Arms Regulations and Export Administrative Regulations. Since I have my customs broker license, and I have been out of the loop on the export side of trade for a while, I was thinking this help me get some insight into that side of trade. Trade is one of those areas that is constantly changing, and every bit of training in that area will help.

I think all of this looking forward, at least for the next few months, is making me feel very optimistic about what will be coming.

Looking at all of my options - what can I do?

2009-04-13T18:23:00.000-07:00

As I am looking at job listings on the internet, I am constantly bombarded with "What am I going to do with my life?" Trust me, it is something I think and pray about everyday. I often wonder where things may lead, and opportunities that may arise. In addition, could I afford to take big leaps and bounds, like moving or even taking on another degree.

My biggest priority right now are my two young daughters. I have one about to go to into kindergarten in the Fall and my youngest is embracing her preschool very well. I enjoy the free time I spend with them. Being a mom will be a role that will remain constant as I look for different work. I have to think about them with every decision that I make.

Since I am still looking for employment, starting a full-time gig of self-employment does run through my mind constantly. I have already joined a freelance site and seeing if my skill set matches with people's needs. I had already worked on a freelance project, and I think something like that would best fit in my life right now. However, I would need to be able to do it constantly, and finding that kind of work all the time would almost be the same as me scouting out the want-ads.

I am also, though perhaps with some hesitation, looking at online law schools. I know that they are only approved for the California Bar, but at least it is a JD. I think I am one of a few folks who would like to go to law school, but not to be a lawyer. I think doing online study would be more convenient and more cost effective. Going to one of those schools would cost between $35,000 to $40,000 for the 4 years rather than paying that for one year at private school around here. Granted, I am in the Mecca of law schools around here. But who is to say that I can't swing by Georgetown to study in the law library, right?

Anyway, I have been thinking about all of these options and wondering what to do with my life - at least while I am still looking!

Re-inventing myself in this troubled time

2009-03-20T06:24:00.000-07:00

Like most of those who are out of a job, I am re-inventing myself. Somehow, unlike when I was out of work 2 years ago, I am actually implementing my strategy, working on creating some self-gain and trying to make some great accomplishments by learning and working hard for goals.

Well, for starters, the first thing I did was enroll in a distance learning course to earn a paralegal certificate. Though the thoughts of law school was dancing in my head, this was more attainable and more affordable. For only a couple of thousands of dollars, I can learn paralegal skills, gain some legal insight and learn how to legally write. This is some I can easily transfer and add with the skills I already have in working in import and export field. Being a customs broker, I already have knowledge of customs law. So taking the customs broker's exam was like in a way taking the Customs Law Bar. Some attorney's think that taking that was harder than taking a state bar exam, and I consider myself as having an asset in that regard. Of course once I get the certificate, applying it to a position would be advantagous. I can approach contracts, trade agreements, and negotiations with ease as well as having any research skills to look up anything to back up a compliance issue.

Another feat I am working on is running a race. I have my mind set on running a half-marathon in the Fall. I have been working out at the gym at least 3 days a week and gaining the strength and endurance to be up to the 13.1 mile challenge. I also have the support of friends and family, which makes a world of difference. So between now and November 13, I will be peppering my weekends with 10ks and 10 mile runs. I do want to do the Marine Corps Marathon, but it may not be this year. I want my body to be ready, and my doctors to give me the okay to pursue it. And on top of everything else, I WILL run the NYC marathon before I turn 40! That will be in 2011!

One of the best perks of being home is spending more time with my girls. They like to have mommy here, and they are happy for it. I can actually stay home with them when they get sick and not have to worry if that will cause any problems with an employer. I can take them to the park or to the DC aquarium, or where ever else they desire to go. I have the time to do it, and I don't regret that.

So, being focused on the important things is what I am doing now. Once I get a job, we will see how it will still hold out.

The changing face of business for generations to come

2009-02-09T09:19:00.000-08:00

Like everyone else in America, I am looking at our current expenses under a microscope. Do I really need to keep buying organic milk? How about getting a new bookshelf to replace the old one? Did I turn out all the lights before leaving? Do we have enough for a down payment for a new car? Can I put away money into my children's savings accounts this month? All of these are dilemmas that our family faces on a daily/monthly basis. It is a sign of the times that I make these little decisions each day, and in the bigger picture, how it effects our bottom line. We do have dreams and hopes for a better future, but above all, our family is making these decisions together - as a team.
This past Sunday, I was watching a segment on "Sunday Morning," interview with the CEO of Japan Airlines Haruka Nishimatsu. He is a CEO, in this downturn economy, who is taking out his own perks and pay and making his salary even less than the pilots that fly his planes. So unlike our American culture of having CEO or President of the company as the major breadwinner, with tons of perks of bonuses and commissions. In business school, I remember learning about people like Nishimatsu and how they managed people and how they increased work ethic through teamwork. I know that "teamwork" seems to be the topic of many American boardrooms today - but is it not a part of the American culture by far. When CEO's of banks come to Washington with tin cups wanting money for their businesses and turn around and spend millions of dollars on personal office upgrades there is no teamwork on that at all.
As a Christian looking at all of this, and as an American looking at our culture, there is not alot of balance, or even teamwork. The Christian side of me is thinking how appauling it is that American CEOs of banks are spending taxpayer money on bonuses while that money could be used to generate more jobs at the bank, and the American side of me thinks that the CEO's probably had a contract that had to be fulfilled with regards to bonuses per year - reason why they are working there. But, ethically, should we all work better as a team. I am not saying that all of these companies should operate as communist nations where everyone gets paid the same - but that the big guy needs to look out for the little guy more often. We need more compassion, more sympathy, more willing to sacrifice ourselves for others - more teamwork. I think that it is something not everyone is quite getting. Jesus did say it quite clearly "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God."
10 to 20 years from now, businesses will be different. I don't know if they are going to be working with the same motivational tools as we are today, but there will be change. Maybe there will be more Nishimatsu's as CEOs for companies and teamwork will not be just talk, but something that is actually implemented.

Looking back at 2008 - did I really accomplish all of my goals for 2008?

2008-12-31T15:57:00.000-08:00

Ok. This time last year, I was at this computer thinking about what I wanted to accomplish for 2008. Did I really do it? Lets looks at my 2008 goals.

Look at labels when I eat. Well. I really semi did that. I was gung-ho the first couple of months, but come March and its effects and affects, I did not totally do that every day. I was more aware of the saturated fat, but not with everything. I did gain 10 lbs during the year, and lost 11 before the holidays by way of Weight Watchers. I blame that weight gain on going back on the pill. Of course, I did gain about 4 lbs back from the holidays. I am so ready to get back on Weight Watchers. It may be a slower method of losing weight, but it is a realistic way to watch your weight. The WW way leans more towards low fat eating anyway, so I know the look out for Saturated fat is there. Of course the golden rule is eat less, exercise more. Once I get back on the program, I will lose that weight this year for sure because we have a cruise coming up in August. Those 25 lbs will be gone!!

Run at least 2 5Ks. Okay. I never did run at least 2. I did walk 2 5ks The Race for the Cure in June and the Drumstick Dash in November. There was a heart walk, but I can't take credit on that because my 4 year-old was cutting up too much to participate. So, that one is marked off. Though I did not run any of them, the desire to do so has not gone away. I have my eye on an 8k in March and a 10k in June. And, if I feel up to it, do a 10 miler in the Fall. I will really have to train. Now that my husband bought me a membership to a gym for my anniversary, I will take advantage of the gym every chance I get and get in the best shape. I can already do 2.25 miles no problem on the treadmill at 5.9 mph. Looking forward to actually doing these accomplishments!

Be more Green. Okay. I definately did that better. I am better at taking my bags to the store. I am always thinking of ways to 2nd use things and have decided to start buying 2nd hand clothes on occasion. I have made some headway there!

Be more patient. This is the hardest one of them all. I do see myself taking more breaths and waiting before reacting to either of my daughters problems or screaming. It is a challenge, an will continually be a challenge for me.

Be more in touch with others. Thanks to the invention of Facebook, I have been able to get in touch with folks I have not seen in years! I did have a personal tragedy with a loss of a friend this year. Getting in touch with others have been a way for me to cope with the loss and a way for me to keep tabs on what folks are doing. Now, I am not puntual on returning messages, that is something I will still have to work on. But, Facebook is fantastic!

I will have to come up with my resolutions for tomorrow. Will keep everyone posted.

Tis the season of giving

2008-12-13T08:37:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I think things can be very commercial. I know that is the complaint by most during this time of year where getting rather than giving is what seems to be the most important priority for our children. I do want my children to learn the value of charity and understand that there are those less fortunate than ourselves.

Recently, I have had the opportunity to actually take inventory of the things we have as far as what my children have in the way of clothes, toys, games, etc. And after counting all of the dolls and little stuffed animals and the like, they have more than what I remembered having at their age. In fact, I think they have too much. So, we are in the process of weeding out all of their goods and making room for Santa gifts.

Once we have our goods together for giving, I have taken both of them with me to a local 2nd store, Joseph's Coat, to donate them there, and also to give us the opportunity to see what the store has for sale. They actually love going into the store and seeing all of the different kinds of past treasures. They don't know that it is all second hand, so they think it is just a great place to see all kinds of toys, clothes, bikes, and even a "funny mirror" that is there for shoppers to try on clothes. It's like an adventure for them. I have also managed to by them so much buy them some much needed sweaters for the winter. Where else can you go and buy a Talbots or a Gap sweater for $4.00 total!

I think with these times, there is no shame in purchasing items from thrift shops as gifts. In our reduce-reuse-recycle culture, it is in a way beneficial for our "green" friends and relatives to see that we are buying something second hand and also contributing to a non-profit in need of funds. So, before you head out to Macy's and other places like Needless-Markup, trying looking at thrift stores too. I don't think your young children would know the difference in that $100 bike versus the $15 one that needs a little TLC to make it special, or that top of the line new Fisher Price gizmo versus the one that is 3 years older one that just needs some batteries. Saves you money but also gives you a chance to customize the gift to give it straight from the heart.

The hangover after the election - now let's get down to business (or no business)

2008-11-06T15:45:00.000-08:00

2 days after the election of our first African American president, a very historic event indeed, people are recovering from political add overload and going back to life as normal. Transitions are taking place and people are welcoming the idea of an African American coming to the White House. Hopefully the process will be smooth, and Republicans will resort back to dissentors in the law making process.

I know my children in years to come will look at this election and see its significance, but in the next 4 to possibly 8 years, I have no idea what a legacy Obama will hold. He was selected by the Democrats as the first Socialist leaning contender on the Democratic ticket. I don't know if he will ever go into the middle when it comes to policy making as president. Under a socialist system, business is going to not find alot of support - an idea that some people don't seem to understand. Non-profits will suffer because of the growing size of central government. More taxes, more harsh effects on this sick economy. I really don't know even if Obama will make it for another 4 after the first.

We will all have to see. I don't want the African American community to be disappointed because of the lack of effective performance, but only time will tell. Either way, Obama does need prayers and it is best that all of us pray for our new president elect.

Living in a toss up state has its price

2008-10-19T15:48:00.000-07:00

In this year's presidental campaign, Virginia happens to be one of those states, that with it's poll numbers is too close to call. Approaching closer to Nov 4, we have been bombarded with campaign adds, from both McCain and Obama. It is almost to the point of illness, and to the point where "I don't care, just get Nov 4th over with!"

I know the demographics of this state is different from one end to the other. In Northern Virginia, where I live, there is more of an Obama leaning. Down south, near where my parents live, there might be more of a McCain leaning. Either way, we are all screwed because we are listening to and watching all the negative attack adds, several within an hour's time. How much more do we have to take? Well, Nov 4 cannot come soon enough. I am ready for it be here today!!

Overscheduling - talk about getting out of balance!

2008-09-30T14:32:00.000-07:00

This past weekend in the Washington Post there was an article of a mom who color coded her 8 year old son's and 5 year old daughter's schedule to make sure that they can fit every opportunity her children could possibly do in a week. Color coding? Anyway, her son's schedule was filled with piano, football, tennis and something else ? and her daughters was filled with ballet, swimming and art? What a schedule for one week! I know with us only doing ballet for our oldest, I often wonder if we are overdoing it at times. Yes, I do want her to be exposed to other things, but how much is too much?

The article continued to say that children who were more exposed to extracurriculars like the sports and music lessons were more likely to succeed in life. I think a lot of it has to do with balancing schedules and organizing time. But how do we balance? Do we do what they want to do or what we as the parent wants them to do? And if your children are interesting in other things, do I want to add on top or expand?

I think I have come up with a solution, at least for our lives, when we start this quandry of extracurriculars, is that we need to keep them balanced outside of school to keep their outlets in life balanced. My solution is to pick one activity on each of the following:

Pick one activity spirtually based:
This centers around the childs spirtual growth. I dedicate Sundays for that in my children's life. They need to have their spirtual identity defined, their relationship with God and knowing about faith in general. This could mean Sunday School, youth group, acolyting, or anything else that engages them on their level.

Pick one activity that is mentally based: Mental activity could mean anything from chess clubs to reading book clubs or drama or music lessons. This grows creativity and grows how they can solve problems. Mental activities should be only what the child likes best, and where the child feels most comfortable to express his or herself. Don't push the violin if the child wants to read instead. Why engage them in something they are just not that thrilled about?

Pick one activity that is physically based: This, of course, means sports or something that encourages physical activity. This means whatever the sport or activity the child likes best. Right now, my 4 year old likes ballet, and probably can only do that one activity for the time being. We tried the soccer route with her, but she was not ready yet for sports. She likes expressing herself with dancing, and right now is where we are going stay. When she wants to start running with mommy, she can do that when she is ready

Basically, each of these activities will bring out the balanced life that we as adults try to find. Introducing this to kids, we need to keep it at their level. After all, they are still kids. If they strive to be the best, they will do it naturally, but don't do it at the expense of either their spirtual or mental development. I know with me as an adult, I look for these three activties in my life to fulfill my life as a giving person in society. As long as I am happy, I think that is what I want to portray most.

They really need to teach finance in schools

2008-09-21T15:44:00.000-07:00

With the economy the way it is today, all the buyouts of banks and foreclosures on houses and people losing their home, everyone is rethinking money. Everyone is not going to the movies as much or going out to eat and finding better solutions on their utilities as well as paying down credit card debt. These are more reactive solutions to people's money problems - I know I am guilty. I think we are opting more for Mac & Cheese and PB&J sandwiches over the juicy steaks and fresh produce. We are rethinking how we spend, and getting our credit card debt down and saving for a down payment on a house. Problem is, with all of this reactivness, is though we are doing the right things in getting our finances solved, not everyone knows what to do.

Living in the USA, everyone has to know something about how money works, how loans work, how credit cards work. But everyone is learning from the "school of hard knocks" and not being educated in schools. Being in a capitalist society, it has not been a priority for schools to educate students on the basics of finance. So, unless you study it in college, or you enroll in a community class, you have no idea of how the system works. I am sure there are some good school systems that might incorporate into their curriculums something about business math, or economics in general. I remember studying economics for a semester in high school but it was only a semester and the curriculum was only covering the basics of economics. But finance is something a little different. Nothing about borrowing or investing. Should it be our responsiblity to make sure our educational systems cover this? If not, who will, and at what price?

Since our society is rethinking money, we need to rethink our educational system and make sure everyone is educated on how the system works before we have a generation of kids entering the workforce who have no idea.

Pro-life stance - can it be that bad?

2008-09-05T19:14:00.000-07:00

Well, after the dizzy coverage of the election this past week, with the Republican convention and the media circling around Sarah Palin, there has been alot of hard core issues that have been brought up. First and for most, abortion. Obama's campaign started running a radio ad this week with a Planned Parenthood nurse saying that McCain is going to end all abortions because he favors pro-life issues. I guess trying to put the fear in all women that the "option" will be taken away from them if he is elected. Of course, Sarah Palin is very staunch in her stand against abortion, living it in her own life with a baby with down syndrome and a pregnant teenage daughter. I guess the liberal's are mostly attacking her for the "choice" she made for her and her family. Yet I read an amazing statistic this week, that 90% of abortions, or at least 90% of the conceptions that were aborted, were from the mother who chose not to raise a child with down sydrome. With statistics like this,it make me wonder where we are taking this abortion issue, in trying to make a super human race by getting rid of the not so perfect one early.

I know with my personal experience, with being pregnant in my 30's the chance of having a down syndrome child increases. During my last pregnancy, I remember my OB offering me in my first trimester the option of genetic testing, and he said that he felt obligated to tell us that we do have the option to end the pregnancy if the tests came back less than favorable. Both my husband and I said "No" It was not an option for us. We wanted to raise whatever child God blessed us with, because the road to get there was not easy (trying for nearly 3 year to conceive our first was hard enough)and going at it again for another would not be an easy road at all. So, we did not get the testing done and put it at the will of God on the outcome. We were blessed with a healthy baby girl without complications.

Thinking about raising a child with special needs has to be an amazing task for the parents. I truly believe that God gives those children to the people who would be able to take care of them. God chose them to raise that child. Unfortuately, 90% of those mothers don't think of it that way. Several years ago, I was listening to an online broadcast of Dallas talkshow. The host, Humble Billy Hayes, has a child with down syndrome and was asked to speak at a convention in Pittsburg for a national association for down syndrome (or something like that). Anyway, he was making a comment about a speech that he heard at this convention about a woman who "chose" to end her pregnancy once she found out she was going to raise a child with special needs. Apparently she had felt it would have been more of a burden on her and the child bring him/her into the world. I remember Humble interjecting his option after this- and I am paraphrasing - How can she say this child could have been a burden? My child has taught me more that I have him. He has taught me patience, and he is actually the one who has stopped and smell the roses. Well, I remember bawling when I was listening. And alot of his listeners in Dallas were calling in crying too. If there is a way to find this telecast from 1999, I will see if I can so I could post it on my blog. But, needless to say, children with special needs should never be thought of as burdens, but blessings.

The Presidental race, making history at every turn

2008-08-30T05:56:00.000-07:00

The day after Barack Obama gave his historical speech to the Democratic Convention in Denver, John McCain made a historical announcement, nominating the first woman to be the VP candidate for the Republican party. Sarah Palin, an outsider to the DC Beltway, is new to me, but what I have heard about her so far, has an interesting story to tell about her political activeness and down-home roots in Alaska. I know McCain's strategy was to get someone out of the beltway, to balance out his 25 plus years in DC, someone who is more in tune to local issues. And picking a mother of 5, which one child is a 6 month child with down syndrome, brings up a lot of issues with mom--can she really do it? Can she balance it?
Well, first and for most, the VP spot has always been a joke position, someone who is there but not always doing something. Not knowing what a VP does on a day to day basis, I really can't answer to say what they do on their jobs, other than that his/her responsibility is to preside over the Senate and be number 2 in line. Could she balance that? If she had a lot of support, I am sure she could. After all, if the Republican ticket wins in November, all eyes will be on her on how she does her job, men and women to see how it is all done. Maybe women will finally get paid what they are worth, and start running for political offices in record numbers.
Of course, this whole Presidential race will be making history regardless of the ticket. Women and African-Americans alike will have someone to look up to in order to motivate them to say, "Hey, it can be done!!"

Olympics inspire a new generation, and rejuvenates the old

2008-08-16T19:25:00.000-07:00

Watching the Olympics this past week has definately given me a new appreciation of hard work. Looking at the accomplishments of the USA team with the mens and women's gymnastics, not to mention the Amazing Michael Phelps, and all of the other sprinters on the running track, you begin to ponder on the possibilities of the human body. My daughters have been inspired by it. They were glued to the TV when the gymanists were doing their floor work. During some of the swimming events, I heard my 18 month old say "WOW!" When my husband and I asked our oldest if she wants to go to the Olympics she said "yes" but has not confirmed with us which sport.

Being a mom, I am particularly inspired by the "past prime" ladies winning medals. Dara Torres won a couple of silver medals at the age of 41. And with a 26.2 mile run, the oldest marathon winner was Romanian Constantina Tomescu at 38 bringing her country home a gold. Both are moms and definately deserve all the praise of keeping up their goals with their busy lives.

Of course, I know that I will never qualify for Olympic games. All I want to do is just to say that my feats have been accomplished. I am training for a 10K to be held the fall, and it is a long process to get my 36 year old body to be where it needs to be. Through the experience, I want to show my daughters that they can do what ever they want if they keep up the hard work. During our vacation last week, my oldest saw an advertisement for a Susan G Komen 5K run to be held. She said "Look mommy they all have your shirt!!" I told her that I did that run already in DC, and then she said "Mommy when I get older, I want to run that race too." At least a seed has been planted :)

The delicate balance of life - how to make it all work!!

2008-07-26T08:02:00.000-07:00

I know this is a very popular topic for everyone, working, raising a family and having a LIFE. There are blogs all over the internet about it, and something I am constantly thinking about, since it is a huge concern of mine.

Working full-time, being a mom of two young children, and try to litter my time in between extracurriculars is something everyone has in common. I am contantly making that balance in finding out what exactly is most important first (First things first as taught in Covey training). Find out was the most important thing is first and everything will follow. Yeah RIGHT!! If my kids are sick, or if some other dire emergency come up, putting them first and putting my job and extracurriculars second could be hard to chew. Having other commitments outside of what is most important (health and well being of my children) would tip that balance of job security, and other personal goals (oops, can't do my 3 mile run today and train for that 10k in a couple of months). It is all so delicate and explains who we are and we think is important, right?

Another think I am struggling with is keeping up with chores around the house. I don't have it in my budget to hire a maid, so we fill our weekends with cleaning the house, doing laundry, cooking, etc on top of our girls activities. I think the fact that I have not been keeping up with my blog is a mere fact that I have beein putting other priorities first. If I had the time to do everything I want to get done, it would be a miracle!!

I would love to hear suggestions on people's time saving tips they have around the house. Maybe it will make my life easier, not to mention other readers!!

The Anti-McCain Ad..telling those to think like they think

2008-06-23T18:18:00.000-07:00

Okay, I am sure you have seen the new controversial ad by MoveOn.org and the American Federation of State, County and Municipal Employees. It started last week and has alot of airplay on all the major networks. Basically it is a mother with her 7 month old baby pleading John McCain not to send her child to Iraq, commenting on his past statement that our country could be in Iraq for 100 years. After watching the ad, I am sure that there are a few women reacting (not thinking mind you) to actual thought of sending babies to Iraq. This ad begs alot of questions to me and I would like to share them.
1) - Since when has our government sent 7 month olds into the military? I believe the youngest age is 18 now a days.
2) - Even when this kid turns 18, wouldn't John McCain be out of office? The max a president could serve consecutively is 8 years. Wouldn't there be another president making other decisions of war at that point?
3) - Last time I checked, our government has 737 bases across the globe(google it - you will find it somewhere). Is Iraq the only place where the military is deploying now a days? How about Japan, Germany or Spain? I am sure when this kid turns 18, there would be another "hot spot" in the world, and Osama bin Laden would have been in the past. Wouldn't Iraq just be another place for a military base at that point?
4) - When this kid turns 18, is it the kid or the mom who decides on whether to serve in the military? If my daughters are called to serve our country, I am not going to stop them. It is a respectable duty. Besides, isn't it the business of the military to fight wars? That is what they do! Even though you don't like the thought of having your own children die before you, dying for your country is something else. If Princess Di - someone vocal on peace issues - were alive today, wouldn't you think she would be proud of her sons for serving their country?

I hope that when you pull the lever in November, regardless of who you are voting for, that you do not think off of the cuff, and resort to voting on reaction. I wish that all American voters actually think about all the issues at stake, not just Iraq, when making a decision. This ad definately serves it purpose in educating the uneducated public, thinking that this election year is only centered on one issue. I think we as a thinking public think of ourselves more than that!

Go Red For Women : Community of Stories - More

2008-06-03T19:27:00.000-07:00

Go Red For Women : Community of Stories - More

Has been a while, and there is a lot that still needs to be done

2008-06-03T18:52:00.001-07:00

Well, I had been on a hiatus for the past few months. Alot has happened in my life since the last blog, which I really don't have time to go into much detail about, but it has made me more centered than ever in what to do. I have been focused on bettering my world in every way I can.

One of the things that I am doing, especially in the next few days, on June 7, is that I will be joining the thousands of others in on the National Mall to walk/run in Susan G. Komen's Race for the Cure. www.nationalraceforthecure.org I have been asking close friends, co-workers and relatives to contribute to my efforts in this cause. I had a grandmother who died from the disease. She decided to treat it after the disease had progressed, rather than once she detected it several years before. She was never proactive in seeking treatment early, or in preventing it. I think if she did, she would have lived to see me graduate from college and see me get married. I know much technology has changed since 14 years ago, but there is no excuse that any woman could get early detection.

Every woman needs to be proactive when it comes to health issues. Not only is breast cancer a threat to 1 in 8 women, but there is heart disease, in 1 in 2 women. I have joined as a contributor to Go Red for Women campaign www.goredforwomen.org, bringing the idea that heart attacks and any heart ailments don't happen to just men, they happen to women as well. My blog on the Go Red site tells about my journey in finding out about my heart ailments when I was pregnant with my first child. http://www.community.goredtv.org/search/default.asp?item=797977&rttpagenum=1

I want my daughters to look at their mother and see how proactive they need to be to be healthy. It takes changing minds to convinence people to know that something is wrong if you have abnormal side affects. Please take the time to learn about these two diseases for your mothers, sisters, friends, and daughters. The life that you may save maybe your own.

Discernment - something everyone must do at some time

2008-02-09T17:26:00.000-08:00

Today at my church, I participated in a retreat at my church. It was about 3/4 day's worth of work and spiritual exercises, but it was insightful to say the least. I participated with a group I am involved with at church, our Outreach Committee, and it was a way for each one of us to focus on the reasons of our ministries. Our leader made us focus on three main factors, 1) God - what is God telling us 2) Family 3) Community.
One of the first things our leader said was that we don't Day-Timer God into our lives. Which, I must admit, I am guilty of. I get up at 5:30 and go to bed at 10, not taking the time to pray or meditate. I know now that I must make it a priority, even though I have a hectic day.
One of the exercises that we partook in was our leader had different photos on a table in one of the Sunday School rooms. Each picture was a variety of items like a picture of a hurricane, pictures of people holding hands, pictures of nature, etc. We were to pick a picture that God was drawing us towards. Of the 50 pictures, I chose one that had a girl ( about 6 to 8 in age) with a pink dress and with a hand crafted heart - something like for Valentine's day. We were to take a few moments and reflect on the picture and why we think we chose the picture. Everyone had different pictures with different perspectives. With my picture, I felt it was something I was personally going through, as a mom and as a mission in my life.
I felt like I was drawn to the picture because God wants me to focus on my daughters, my family. They motivate me right now in the spritual decisions. I felt the hand-crafted heart represented 1) the love I have for them and vice-versa 2) How we treasure their hand-crafted pictures/arts as a heart-felt expression from them. 3) of the personal heart-health issues I have had to face personally and how they are a blessing from it. In conclusion, I felt like it was her father and me to lead them in the right direction, towards God's way, and teach them to express themselves.
I think I need to do more reflections like this...I know it is a daily challenge to re-center my life as much as possible.

A move for the office, and lots of change to come

2008-01-20T16:13:00.001-08:00

This past Friday, our office moved locations from a darker, dingy and older building to a new, improved and brighter suite. It was a requirement that everyone participate in this move, to their capacity, and have their computers set up at the close of business. Luckily, there is only a mile's distance between the 2 offices, and everyone was eager and willing to do the move. We all packed up our personal items, computers and such, and put them in our cars and transported it to the eighth floor of our new office. Everyone was excited about the "newness" of everything from new desks to new walls, new conference areas and new window views. Everyone, including myself, are excited about have the opportunity to use the fitness center during our lunch breaks.

In the midst of the newness, there is that feeling of sadness of leaving what was left behind. After grabbing our items and leaving the furniture for the movers, there was an emptiness, thinking that we are going through the change. Granted I have only worked at that office for 6 months, there had already been so many memories. I starting growing in a new career direction in those walls. It all represented a memory of a new start for me. Knowing things will always be changing and things will always get better added excitement to this process.

Tomorrow, people in our new office and begin adjusting to the new surroundings. Let's see how at home we can all be!

New Year and New Resolutions

2008-01-01T14:57:00.000-08:00

At the end on one year and the beginning of the next, New Year's resolutions are always phenomenal for people like me who always seek to be better. Here are some areas in my life not to mention lifestyle I am trying to do better.

Look at labels when I eat..Really! I know alot of people want to lose weight, and I know I do especially trying to lose this baby weight from 2007! But, for a lifestyle change, I am going to strive to read labels on foods, and get the real dirt on what I eat. What I am particularly interested in, since I have heart disease, is the saturated fat. I have a website here to where I calculated what I should be eating each day in that regard. http://www.nhlbisupport.com/cgi-bin/chd1/step1intro.cgi I vow to do no more than 18 grams a day, as well as restrict my fat and calorie consumption. If I happen lose weight, wonderful!

Run at least 2 races. I know in one of my later blogs, I was striving for a 5k on Dec 31. That never happened yesterday because of my lack of training. Now, our office is moving to new accommodations that include, none other than a gym, free of charge. Finally, a place to where I can go during my lunch break with motivated co-workers and not get up at 4 in the morning for a 40 minute run. So, with my 5k goal and possibly a 10k, I will strive to be strong in the end. Not to mention trying to keep up with my 4 year old and toddler!

Be more Green I know this is hubbub of the day, but in my lazy days of 10 to 15 years ago, we thought those "tree huggers" were a nuisance to society! Now, with fuel prices and energy prices going through the roof, I am learning that it does not hurt to bring bags to the grocery or purchase organic wear, or turn out lights when they are not in use. I think of it as saving the future for our children. It is almost as if I have become a hippy (but not all the way!)

Be more patient. My husband does complain this about me alot of the time. Every time my child yells and throws a fit, I lose my cool too. I need to learn not to fly off the handle on little things and take them for what they are, little things. There are more prevalent things in this world to get mad about, and little things are not it.!!!

Be more in touch with others I think every year I have made this statement as a resolution, whether it is for sending birthday cards or sending out emails more often. I am much of a hermit of sorts, with a busy life and circling around my children. I don't have alot of time to get in touch with old friends or make new ones. I am going to commit a little time each day to catch up or reach out to folks.

These are my reflections of a new and happy new year. Maybe 365 days later, I will see how each of these got accomplished!!

Reality of the Christmas Story, how human it is

2007-12-16T13:40:00.000-08:00

Today at our church, I had witnessed my first born's first participation in a Christmas Pagent. This year, her group were sheep, and were lead on stage during the hymn "Upon a Midnight Clear" by one of the older 3rd grade shepards. My near 4 year old, who's name happens to be that of one of the cast of characters in the pagent, was carrying her baby doll, thinking that she was holding the Christ child. Of course, the main cast of characters were on stage with their baby doll. The doll "magically appeared" from under the manger. After the grab, I was noticing how the young Mary figure was holding a caring for the baby. Then I was looking at the program of the pagent which was decorated by drawings the children in our church did. All the drawings depicted both Mary and Joseph smiling almost as if the baby magically appeared.

Of course we adults know the whole reality of birth. It is not always an easy process. In our day and time, it is almost at requirement to have a birthing area, whether in a hospital or a home, in a sterile condition during the labor and birth. And to think of giving birth in one of the most unsanitary places, a barn, is unthought of today. On top of all that, imagine putting your child in an animal feeding trough! I don't like the fact my 10 month is playing with the cat food, let alone let her actually to lie in it. Jesus was definately not born in the most kosher of situations based on Jewish law. I am sure there were bugs, fecal matter, and smells that we think are horrid in this time and age and of that. I would imagine the possiblity of disease and birth mortality rate were higher then than now. It is a miracle that someone had survived such a birth in those conditions.

Today with our organic moms and disinfectant dads, imagining to actually be in that situation is out of our scope. Yet with our set ways, a cozy birth is very picturesque. Bringing life into this world is already something everyone deals with anticipation and know that change in inevitable. Sometimes we have to really be out of comfortable situation to see God at work. That is something to ponder this Christmas season.

Christmas time again, lets keep it CHRISTmas

2007-12-02T18:00:00.000-08:00

I knew it was Christmas time a couple of weeks ago when my daughter pulled out the ToysRUs Sunday insert and was pointing at all the things she wanted. It seems like it changes everyday what she wants "I want Barbie...I want a Belle doll....I want a Aquadoodle pad...I want that game" it seems like a never ending of "I want." I know somewhere in our society, the meaning of the season has been lost. It is now a list of "I wants" and not always "you need." If there is one thing I want my girls to learn from their parents is that giving is better than receiving.

Charaties this time of year are always working on making people's Christmases blessed events. At our church, there is the Christ Child Project, given less fortunate ones the opportuntity to shop for high-end toys and clothes at an 80% discount with donated items. The Heifer Project comes out every year with celebrity endorsements, asking for donations to help Third World communities with basic agricultural supplies like oxen and sheep. Another contribution our family does is sponsor a girl from a girls shelter in Honduras called "Our Little Roses." Every year I have my daughter pick out Christmas and Birthday gifts for our girl. We want our daughters to have a connection with our sponsored child, and have the opportunity one day to meet her.

I think giving not getting is the key to Christmas. I have here a favorite contempory Christmas song by Dave Matthews Band "The Christmas Song." I think this simple song says it all.

Motivate Me, PLEASE!!

2007-10-27T05:44:00.000-07:00

I know I have set myself for something, which I know I can do, but at this point I don't know IF I can do it well. A couple of weeks ago, I signed up to participate in a 5K, the MADD Red Ribbon Run in Fairfax, VA on December 31. I wanted to set a goal for myself, that I would get my post-baby body into shape and try to beat my last time of 31:23. So far, the training for this event is lagging. When planning my home training for this, I wanted to make a goal to run/walk 3 times a week and weight train with "The Firm" system at least twice a week. So far this week I was only able to walk 2 miles and run 1mile. I did not do my Firm DVD at all this week. Now, I have no motivation.

It has been a dreary week this week, all this rain in the Northern Virginia area. So my wanting to go outside for a neighborhood run is off. My treadmill is in fair to poor condition. My tread belt still has its problems. As long as I don't go 7.0 mph on it, it would be okay but that is not ideal for training, especially since it is recommended to an occasional sprint in your runs. Popping in a DVD has not come about this week, somehow trying to do lundges and squats has not appealed to me. The only time of day I have allowed myself to train is in the AM hours. This means setting an alarm for 4:40 am and hopping to it. So far, I have only wanted to get out of bed at 5:30 am, eliminating 50 minutes of workout time. I guess I could schedule this during my lunch breaks or in the evening, but I have not allowed that because I view my lunch time as sacred in time to come home and tidy up the place. Evenings are out because I want to squeeze every minute out with my family, plus I am too exhausted to try to do the treadmill at 9 pm.

Basically, I feel like I need to go the long haul with someone on this. I need someone to help me get out of bed and do those morning jogs on the treadmill and do those tough weight workouts. Since I don't belong to a gym, I don't have network of support. My husband has bad knees, so running is not an option for him, plus we don't have enough room for 2 treadmills in our house to workout side by side. Other than looking for Divine Intervention, motivation is not there. I guess I need to work this out on my own and find my motivation. Any takers?

Recalls, Recalls, Recalls...what is a mother to do!!

2007-09-30T13:13:00.001-07:00

Here we go again with the Made in China label. It seems like every time I turn on the TV nowadays, there is a Made in China product being recalled. Checking out our government sponsored website, www.recalls.gov , the latest recall lists Target distributed products from doll strollers, necklaces to children's tools and chair sets, having large amounts of lead violating our federal standards. Now, Target is my store of choice when it comes to purchasing toys for my children. Everything from my daughters board games to clothes, Target is my one stop shop, a God-send for busy mothers. However, given the quality of products coming out of the Target-only distribution, from toys to cribs, they are good for the value, but stamped with the Made in China label.

Now, I know that Target is not the only carrier of Chinese toy products; our whole marketplace is littered with Chinese made products. Toys R Us, Babies R Us, Costco and Wal-Mart - just to name a few - will all see discontented parents returning toys that their children have grown very fond of. Looking at everything that is going on with the recall issues, making choices of what to get and not to get is going to be very hard, now with the Christmas season at our heals. Today my 3 year old looked at the Sunday newspaper pull-out for Toys R Us and commenting "oh, I want Santa to bring me a Barbie doll!." How can I tell her that Santa is hesitant to give her that because his elves are using lead paint, and that it is a bad thing because your baby sister likes to grab things and put things in her mouth all the time and touching Barbie might get your sister sick. Hmmm. What to do...what to do...

Taking an inside look into this, I know our government is overwhelmed as is in putting all enforcements in place to prevent these problems. Working with the agencies as a Customs Broker, I have seen some of the problems that come out of our government at work. Customs is under staffed to fulfill their obligations to the public in securing our borders. FDA is understaffed to investigate all food and drug issues, imported and domestic. Looking abroad, trying to regulate issues with the Chinese government are going to be tough because we don't have permission to go in and inspect the conditions of the products coming to us. Essentially, all powers that be have tied hands to this issue.

Given all of this, parents can voice their opinion with purchasing power. With the power of the pocketbook, parents can change the behavoirs of businesses to concentrate efforts on better quality, healthier products, not just the bottom line of cheaper labor. I know that there are going to be some parents who want to buy USA made products for Christmas. It think it is going to be a tough sale to kids who have their hearts on that Barbie or model airplane for Christmas. But, with time, maybe that Barbie or model airplane would be more premium in the marketplace because the manufacturer took the time to see all the materials and labor were the best. Of course this would drive up prices, but it would be a good starting point help us all secure safety and priorities into our lives. Paying for quality, not just quanity of things. That is a thought going into Christmas this year :)

Picky eaters - time for the good stuff

2007-09-07T17:37:00.000-07:00

This whole week, I have noticed more and more how my 3 year old is very picky with what she eats. Every meal that has been prepared for her, she would automatically say "Ew! That's yucky!" without having ever placed it in her mouth. She automatically judges based on the site and smell to see if it good. I know that I want to expand her palette beyond McDonald's chicken nuggets and chocolate milk. I have tried very hard to see that she gets good nutrition and a variety of choices.

Yesterday evening, I was trying out a recipe in a new crockpot recipe book, a chicken tortilla soup. I thought it has chicken (which she likes) tomato sauce (which she likes) tortillas (she could out do me on a bag of chips anyday) and cheese (yummy). Anything a kid would like, right? Wrong! She smelled it and curled her nose YUCKY! I told her she had to have at least 2 bites before she left the table. She had two tiny bites and opted for the small box of Trix instead. Okay, I know the Trix is wrong choice, but I felt like she had carrot sticks and a banana in her lunch box that she ate at school, so it is not all that bad of trying to feed my child well!

Again tonight, a "healthy" pizza from Pizza Hut (the thin crust Chicken Supreme is something the South Beach Diet even endorses) loaded with green peppers, chicken, onion and mushroom. And do you know, even with a food like pizza, and the tomato paste crust, the child turned her nose to it!

My 7 month old is starting to become picky..well I know she is only 7 months and she had only started to eat solids for a couple of months now, but even the foods she has tried and seem to like, she does not like anymore. Green beans puree was a delicacy for Ella. Now she frowns and cries when she has it. I think the only food she had consistantly liked is my breastmilk.

Have I set a bad example for my daughters in actually trying to get them to try new foods? I know that I have moods when it comes to food, I mean after a stressful day, I could eat a whole bag of chocolate chip cookies! Perhaps they are in moods, and want some sort of control and defining for themselves what they like and don't like. They still have alot of growing up in the taste buds and in the belly!

I know when I was young, I could not stand spinach, though my parents consistantly put it on my plate, whether I ate it or not. Now it is one of my favorite foods! Maybe my daughters will start eating healthy if I just gave it to them as an option, constantly. Maybe they will be picky enough to try those "yucky" foods and think of it as a great alternative. Maybe I should get rid of those chocolate chip cookies and start eating those same carrot sticks I put in my daughter's lunch box when I feel a stress spell. Maybe I need to "grow up" my palette too!

Life with a hyphenated name

2007-08-29T17:00:00.000-07:00

My husband and I have been married for almost 11 years now. From the beginning of our relationship, before marriage was the option, I had always wanted to keep my name. After the proposal and the wedding day was nearing, I had an internal debate on what to do. I knew the traditional route was not for me because my name is my IDENTITY after all. It was either keep my name all together or hyphenate. So months of contemplating on what I could live with for the rest of my life, I chose the hyphenated option. If I had only known how uneduated some people were when it comes to hyphenated names, I might have chosen to keep my name period.

First of all, in the technical age that we have, in some programs that people use for driver's licenses or making arrangements with a travel agent, the hyphen is a foreign symbol. So instead of "Breeman-Rhodes on my drivers license it is "Breeman Rhodes" Using the hyphen in some programs just makes things go batty. When I was trying to get my name established with my job's network, my boss was hestitant to put my hypenated name on it because apparently a hyphenated name screwed up something once before. For the longest time, I was "Amy Rhodes" in the network, making me cringe everytime I saw it. Finally, with the help of the IT guy, I got straight; it took my full name and did not crash the computer!

Another thing about hyphenated names people don't understand is the filing part..do you file it under B or R..anyone?...you file it under the BBBBBBBBBBB!!!!!!. Okay, that maybe a little too dramatic, but you file it under the first of the two names because you treat it as one word. I found this website with someone else having the same issue with a hyphenated name http://www.rainwaterreptileranch.org/scr/ I can't tell you how many times I have had to educate pharmasists and doctors offices because they did not treat it as one word. Though things are getting better now and I don't have to lead the way all the time.

Another issue is your initials. I just don't think everyone realizes that when you hyphenate your name, you keep your initals too because you keep your middle name. My true initals are ACB..my office still has me as ABR..YIKES!

One thing about hyphenated name, though my husband's last name is part of the package, I still view his last name as HIS, not mine. MY last name is different. I would think after 11 years of marriage, that the feeling would go away, but it does not. I am proud to have my name though some people might be confused by it. I have had some people compliment saying "That's a good name." I am glad people respect it :) My daughters share their father's name, which is fine with me. When it comes a time in their lives keep their names or give it away, it will be their decision. Maybe it will be easier for them than me in going against tradition.

Getting paid what you are worth?

2007-08-19T13:59:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking of this issue for a while, and am just now putting in on paper. I know with past jobs, I sure did feel like I was underpaid. But looking at situations, I did end up "settling" with what I was willing to take. Regardless of my MBA and experience, I was willing to take something to live by. Looking over my whole experience in salary negotiations, I have shot myself in the foot on alot of occasions and regret it either by not negotiating, and negotiating on a higher level.

Now, I just got a new job. Not getting too much into the actual numbers, this one is making exactly the same salary I was making at my last job PLUS the chance to make commissions, something I never had the opportunity to do before. What I was making on my last job, I thought was good because I was still learning the ropes of importing and was waiting on my customs brokers license. With this job now, I never really been an "account manager" and did not know much about the industry that the company represents which is tradeshows. Looking back, I probably could have asked for about $5000 more, but I did not want to rock the boat. It was a job offer, and I took it after 6 months without a job.

Back in May I started to learn about the negotiating game. One company in particular offered me a job. It was close to an hour away from home, and they were asking $10,000 more than what I was making from by last job. But they were going to throw in an additional incentive for "compliance" with the possiblity of making another $10,000 additional. On paper the deal looks good, but it was an hour a way from home, means a new car, new car seats, price of gas. Well, thinking of all the extra costs involved, I went ahead and stepped up the negotiation to the max..I countered with the $20,000 more I was making. I did not care much about the incentive at that point, I just needed something to cover the extra costs especially since it was an hour away! And do you know what, those people are still probably looking at my counter offer because I never heard from them again. Truly in my heart of hearts, I KNOW I am worth that salary that I countered back with. I just think they were taken back with my persistance in getting it up more to a level I wanted.

Now, I am at a salary I think could be fluffed more. But, you know what, compared to other things I have been offered and work environments, this one seems best. Maybe I can earn that extra $5000 next year after my review. But we will see. Perhaps I can earn a ton on commissions and it be a moot point.

Women being underpaid is very common. I see articles reinforcing that fact. http://edition.cnn.com/2005/US/Careers/06/23/women.salary/. This one is a good one to read on that fact. I also saw another article that said if you want to earn more money these days, you have to work longer hours.http://www.nber.org/digest/jul06/w11895.html

I will make what I am worth one day, but looking at all aspects of life, raising a family and their importance, I think that will be closer to my empty-nester years when the girls are away from the nest and I can concentrate on a long-houred career. It may raise risk of illness, but I would make it! Some type of motivation, huh?

Make the Monsters go away!!!

2007-08-13T16:10:00.000-07:00

My 3 year old has a habit, annoying to her father and I but something quite common for her age, of coming into our room in the middle of the night because she is "scared of monsters." We have begun a ritual at night of checking her room and seeing that all the monsters have gone away. Needless to say, once the lights turn off, her fears come back and she insists to come sleep with us. I don't know when the last time my husband and I had a quiet night. Our 6 month old sleeps through the night so she is the least of our worries. But the older one, knowing that the world may not always be secure, thinks of monsters when she does not know what is there.

She has also done this with her bath. Wanting only a "teeny-tiny baths" because she has become scared of water. And the sound of the water going down the drain in the tub leads to a great leap out of the tub, and screams of "There are monsters in the tub!"

Being an adult, we can always explain "what goes bump in the night" We even as adults have fears and nightmares because we are in situations beyond our control. Debt, unemployment, addictions, homelessness can all be monsters in our life, and if we don't have control of them, they control us. I know that my husband and I have been through that nightmare. Now, with both us being employed and finally getting paychecks, we now can have control of what was uncontrollable. In a way it is blessing to have that control now, but sometimes we know those monsters may reappear. God may throw a monster in the closet to remind us that sometimes there are things that scare us and we cannot explain. This can lead us to Him, like our daughter coming to us in the night, looking for Mommy and Daddy to comfort us.

I know this is just a phase with my daughter, but I hope she never outgrows coming to us if she has fears, no matter what it is.

Hi Ho, Hi Ho, back to work I go!

2007-08-03T18:00:00.000-07:00

Wednesday this week was the first day of my first job since I had my second daughter nearly 6 months ago. The night before, I started feeling the pangs of anxiety of leaving my second born with a sitter and me not seeing her bright smile through out the whole day. Everything turned out great and all went well with me and with her. Of course, this separation from my first born was not as traumatic since she had ready been going to daycare. But with this new system of pumping breast milk twice a day a work helped me keep my bond with my daughter, almost giving me comfort that I was doing something for her while we were apart.

Work, on the other hand, is definitely a blessing from God. This is the first job I have had in a long, long time where I don't feel anxiety when I walk through the door. The people are genuinely happy, and never sour in attitudes or work ethic. The atmosphere is sooo relaxed. There is even the encouragement to wear flip-flops on days where the temp is over 90 degrees. Also, did I mention that this job is only minutes from my house! Granted, the daycare centers are not that close, but I don't have to drive 45 minutes one way to get to work, like I did with my last job. I also get the option to earn commission with this job, unlike some of my other occupations, so it gives me motivation to push a little harder.

I believe this is a first step in lots of roads I have crossed in the past few years where I feel like I am going somewhere in my career. In the past, I have working as a paper pusher, problem solver and deed doer with no reward. Now, other people are hired to do that kind of work while I just concentrate on working with customer service, find the niches, look for opportunities to grow. I will have to update this as this goes along. I might be off of cloud 9 by then --lets hope not.

The Price of New, and the Cost of Old

2007-07-26T07:47:00.000-07:00

Ok, has anyone bought a treadmill lately? Any idea of what a good one costs, or the price of the best one on the market? Well, it is not any decision to make. My husband and I bought a treadmill a couple of years ago. It was on the cheap side of the market, a Proform 400. From the beginning, it had its problems. It was loud, squeeking, and the belt was constantly shifting, moving to the right side of the tread, causing it to burn a grove into the the side of the floor console. Needless to say, after our every attempt to shift the belt everytime, the belt finally gave in and started to shread( This was after my husband was making an honest effort to work out).

In my attempts of trying to get back into shape and having a workout routine in place once I get back to work, I revisited that dusty treadmill and made a phone call to a local "treadmill doctor" to get an estimate. I guess that I had hope that a couple a hundred dollars would solve the problem. After rattling off the costs of the diagnostic, parts and labor, totaling near $500, the guy on the phone said "Your better off buying a new machine." He definately knows that these Proforms do'nt have a good reputation. To anyone out there in treadmill market land, I suggest you not to venture into that waters of Proform, unless you plan on getting a replacement within a year.

So, thinking about this $500 I am out, and thinking about what a gym membership would be, the $500 is actually a cheaper deal. I had joined on a trial basis with Bally Fitness. It has a 30 day deal for $19. What's the harm, right? I tried my first day on Tuesday at around 2:00. So I was there at non-peak hours. This Ballys has a pool (both upstairs and downstairs). Has alot of equipment --maybe 40 treadmills and 40 ellipticals available to everyone to use. It also has a good layout of weight machines on the upstairs. One downside to this place is the smell of chlorine throughout your workout. I talked to one of the trainers there to see the bottomline of joining. Basically, if you want just a no-frills membership you pay about $50 a month, the family together is an extra $20 (not bad) but the clincher is that there is an enrollment fee of $150 and the contract has to be 3 years...Okay. So, I can't guarantee that I will be here for 3 years. What if we have to move? What if we decide to move to a different part of town and it would not be convenient to got to this gym. This whole idea sucks. I don't want to be in a contract for that long with a gym. $2520 + 150 is a contractural agreement is what I would agree to pay. I might as well buy a $1500 new treadmill for my own home, with my 16%APR credit card, buy a 3 year warranty and hire a personal trainer to come to my home once every 6 months. That all totals about the same.

I am still out of my $500 bucks and out of a good deal. I guess health is not cheap.

Personality Test, Anyone?

2007-07-21T07:48:00.000-07:00

I saw an ad on television around 11:30 last night telling about how important education (duh) and that you can go their website and do a personality test, and they will spit back what online courses would be best suited for you. Interesting concept, but worth a look at. Could not for the life of me remember the web site address this morning, but I decided to take a personality test for the heck of it..why not, right? So, I did. They came up with my results, and here they are on this site.

http://www.outofservice.com/bigfive/results/?o=24&c=79&e=15&a=87&n=32

If anyone wants to take it for the heck of it, give it a try. The results may surprise you. It is based on the OCEAN personality test..Openness to Experience/Intellect, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Agreeableness and Neuroticism. According to the results I am 24% Open - find that hard to believe. Thought I would be more in middle of the road. I am 79% conscientious - not a big surprise. I believe myself pretty reliable. 15% in extraversion - I have always been rather reserved. 87% agreeable. I seem to be a forgiving person by nature, so no big surprise there. And 32% neurotic. Not a very-high strung person by nature.

So, with exception of the Openness category, no new information of knowing who I am. But did I really gain anything by knowing this information. At least it reinforces what I know, and what I don't know about myself. I guess it would give insight on how I deal with others and how others view me. Do I even want to be this person? Do I want to be more open to experiences, do I want to be less reserved? Do I like me?

Being 35 and acting like a teen trying to find out who you are is like a regression. I am a very confident person in who I am. I could have raised these questions when I was 15 and not knowing what I wanted to do with my life. But, the personality test to find out the secret to what makes you happy does raise some questions. These people are really making money on this? Does my personality actually "fit" with a job, a career, a happier life? Okay, not to mock personality tests, but trying to find out who you are with the endless options this life offers, you might lose yourself. The decisions you make are the indicators to show who you are. Namaste.

Looking at Life from a Different Perspective

2007-07-13T07:49:00.000-07:00

310 Cone Drive. That as my address when I lived in Selma. Recently, I took a peek at my former home through the birds eye, or should I say satillites' view of that address thanks to Google. Some of the streets and homes looked the same. Though I was not there to see it from the ground, I could tell things have not changed much. Edmund Pettis Bridge, the infamous bridge that brigaded the Civil Rights movement was still standing strong. The view of my old school, JT Morgan Academy still looked the same with the mowed lawns of the football field were I had witness many a football game on cool Fall Friday nights. Yes. Looking back I can see now how much I have moved forward. 310 Cone Drive housed my childhood, my world for nearly 20 years. In the past 15 years, I have changed. I had 5 different addresses in the past 15 years. Alot of moving and changing to find my place in this world.

Looking down on 310 Cone Drive, I had 20 years of living life within those walls. I remember laying down on that front lawn and would spend hours looking up at the sky, looking at the clouds and dreaming dreams of what I wanted my life to be. I dreamed of being married, having children, being someone with influence and affluence. I was naive, thinking idealistically.

Now, I have a different address, dreaming dreams again. I am married with children, but I have not yet made in the world that I wanted to accomplish starring up into those clouds on 310. Though some would say that my dreams have come true, I say that I am almost there!

Not Quite There, But It's a Start

2007-07-09T07:50:00.000-07:00

Ok, after a day of trying the 10,000 challenge, I only got half way there. With this torturous weather, who can actually excercise. Needless to say, I did not make it much out of the house today. I got to 5089, thanks to Leslie Sansone's "Walk Away the Pounds - 1 mile power walk." Maybe I can get to 6000+ tomorrow.

Well, today was productive. I did get some objectives done. I took my oldest to preschool, I fed my 5 month old carrots for the first time, the airconditioner got fixed - finally. I attempted a Mavis Beacon typing test, doing all of those key drills for {}[] - I do that better when I am not qued to do it. Anyway, I can't get past 40 WPM. My goal is 65 WPM. Working on a laptop makes things akward for typing anyway.

Job hunting has become a part-time job for me. Today, I was looking at local and state government jobs and thinking about what I really would like to do in that arena. Ever since I had decided to make a career change to be a paralegal, my look on what I want from work has changed. I was working at the customer service end of things, now it has shift to just service. Perhaps my new focus will be my drive to find something good!

Are You Moving Forward 10,000 Steps a Day?

2007-07-08T07:52:00.000-07:00

Well, my husband has a blog, I thought I should start one too. I have similar stories to tell but with my point of view. I figure I should start with this email from the American Heart Association (something true and dear to my heart).

I had heart surgery almost 3 years ago; I was diagnosied with an atrialventrical canal defect - try saying that 12 times fast. I was diagnoised with this condition when I was pregnant with my first daughter, who is now 3 1/2 years old. Technically, I could have delayed the surgery, the doctors stated my immediate condition was good, and health was fine. But as I would hit my 40s, I will start feeling more tired, lethargic and would eventually digress to an early death. Because I felt I had my life ahead of me, and a beautiful daughter to raise, I did not want any chances. My husband's insurance would cover costs of the surgery, my parents would help take care of my daughter during my delicate 6 week recovery. I went ahead and got it done. To say the least, I am glad I made that decision.

In April of last year, I ran my first 5K - a feat a would not had been able to do before because I had always felt out of breath. A month later, our second child was conceived. Our life was good.

Now, with my extended maturnity leave and lots of weight to lose from the birth of my second child, I need to make those same changes again. I know the nursing makes me want to eat more, and I does add some extra pounds. I feel like I need to make a change to walk more, be active more. For the sake of my kids and my health - my whole family. Does anyone want to tag along?

From: Go Red For Women
Subject: Are you moving forward 10,000 steps a day?
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